It’s taken me a long time – depending on when you read this I may already be 50 – to be comfortable enough with my own sexuality and my own self to be able to occupy this space comfortably.
I’ve been wanting to participate in some form of sex work space my entire adult life. In the late 80s, I was convinced that being an erotic dancer (or moving to Nevada and being a sex worker) would be a smart way to earn money for college. In the 90s, I wanted to have my own 900 number – and I spent enough time on the phone for free back then I might as well have done it, but that’s another story (I hope, hope, hope that there is always another story!).
And then, when 50 Shades made reading erotica a mainstream event, I was like, “Fuck! I could have written that only 1,000 times better!” I’ve never read it, but friends (especially ones I had erotic email conversations with) would send me little excerpts and say to me, “You should be writing this stuff.” I agreed, but with 3 kids still at home and a business to run, who had time? (Not me, in case that wasn’t clear).
10 years later and here we are. ElleVentures: The Party will be published on February 10 (a birthday present, you could say – and yes, that IS a hint. If I have to spend my 50th birthday in England’s lockdown, I want lots of people to make me feel better about that).
The great thing about starting this process as I approach what some might refer to as middle age (fuck you) is that I have a LOT more experience and opinion to draw from – and the confidence to be ok using it, owning it, and letting it be a part of this journey.
So, while my stories are fiction, the adventures that happen are in there because I’ve thought about it, tried it, want to try it, or would try it if given the opportunity to do so safely. And I’m ok with you knowing that because I’m finally ok with me (and the slut within me).